From Postpartum to cutting China out

As a business owner my journey began in high school, my school was able to allow me to go to school from 8am-2pm and i would work 2nd shift at our local nursing home from 3pm-11pm. I did this everyday from 11th grade to graduation. I moved out of my mother’s house in the middle of high school and I went onwards. No cushion and no where to fall back to. It was peaceful. Shortly after graduation, I opened my first boutique in downtown Cartersville, shortly after I bought the business for sale next door as well. I have ran businesses starting from age 19 until 22. I sold the year before covid. It was fine at first until a few months in I started drinking to mask how lost i felt in the world. My identity was lost. No businesses and no foundation. So from there I took what money I had left over and I started traveling solo. I moved to Maine, Florida, a small stint in New York, and finally hit the spot on Colorado. My time in Colorado was life changing. It forced me to be sober because I was all alone and was completely dependent on myself. It wasn't until my time at the end I started down a path of trying to fill this emptiness in my soul. I decided it was time to go home. It was then I got a job at our GMC dealer as the service manager and I moved in with my mawmaw,  It was a few months later of working and living a high social life, by complete surprise I was PREGNANT!! 

As a mother, my journey began in November of 2022. Banks, my son, completely changed my outlook on life and spiraled my existence into purpose. We spent many nights alone and it was in the quiet of those nights when I felt a pull to a higher power. I wanted to love his little soul for eternity. My postpartum was unlike any depression I have ever faced. If you're like me, you lie on the questionaries at the check ups. Because independence comes with a tough front. My favorite was "on a scale of 1-10 what's the likeliness of harming yourself?" "zero.." as I chuckled in silence at the cold system that has become our healthcare. The real answer was, when I left the doctor office, I'm already calculating the amount of hours of sleep I might be able to get. I'm feeling my nasty matted hair rub against the back of my neck, probably a slight B.O aura as well. It was pretty much at that point I knew this was going to be hell to get through. It was the nights that were the hardest, when Banks would wake up crying I would try to soothe him, and once he was back asleep, I would cry too. Just sob. I was so sleep deprived from weeks of feeding every two hours alone. I was so stressed I wasn't able to produce any milk and I felt like such a failure. But I wasn't able to stop, it never slowed down. After my 6 weeks was up, I was able to return to work.  First one there, last one to leave, I worked for GMC as the service manager so the days were long. This time in my life is honestly such a blur from lingering post partum, it wasn't long before all the stress blew up in my face. My first night in jail. Looking around at 4 lifeless walls, I was out having a drink and masking my problems. I got pulled over but passed my breathalyzer. Sadly they said I failed my field of sobriety test. In that case I was told I needed to accept a DUI charge or have my blood drawn for accurate results. So I agreed to a blood test. There I was walking through the hospital handcuffed, walking down the same halls i just carried my son out out of a few months ago.  "Me??? In jail??" I thought to myself, this kind of thing doesn't happen to me I was such a good kid growing up. I was very fortunate to pass the blood test and all charges were dropped, it was just enough for the hardest wake up call. I was so ate up by the world at this point i didn't even realize my self worth had just been eroded away. It was on that night I vowed to never put myself or my son in that position again. I moved, lost my job, and started from ground zero. I was fortunate enough to move in with a precious woman I used to help in the healthcare field. From there I took every side job I was able to find while keeping Banks by my side. I didnt have a vehicle and I ubered from place to place with Banks' car seat in the back with me. It was humiliating on many occasions but its what had to be done and there was nothing anyone could tell me to stop my momentum. I had started my side business back up and was getting small 1,500$ gigs here and there. Wedding gigs, Bartending, etc. I finally got a car and I was doordashing for income with Banks riding around doing what was needed to pay my bills while working a work from home job. I was let go from my work from home job due to a customer complaining of Banks crying in the background so from there I said "Im going to start my boutique back up online." I took what money I had and was given a little extra money from my friend. I think it was around 500$ and I made my first wholesale purchase. It felt AMAZING to be back. The hustle, the drive, I taught myself the tiktok shop platform and thats what really changed the game for me. I had a jacket made in China go viral and I was packing out boxes just as fast as they were coming in. Then around March of 2025 the tariffs went in to place halting all shipments until China could figure out how to charge correctly. When the new shipping rates finally posted it was CRAZY. Shipping had quadrupled making the profit margin so small it was less than working a minimum wage job. Then the final dagger, China opened up direct to consumer through tiktok shop as well. This meant the units I was buying for 40$ and selling for 75$ (normal retail) China was now selling straight to consumer for 50$, Just chaos. I had to figure out how to beat the system, but how do you beat someone at their own game?? It was May 2025 at this point, I had the idea, I'm just going to make what I want by sewing!! It was NOT good at first. I spent my last 100.00 on a sewing machine and fabric from Joanns going out of business sale. 

As a follower of Jesus my journey began during the start of Spaceykays months before the tarrifs. I felt supernatural nudges and when I would get curious about him he would communicate in an intimate way only him and I understood. It was May 24th 2025, I posted my first pair of handmade boxer shorts on this new fashion facebook group. 14 pairs sold right off!! Then to my surprise one of the girlies who purchased was an amazing fashion guru with an awesome following. She received the shorts and did her first review and I think it got around 500,000 views!! It was go time, I had SO much fabric and so much drive.  In the month of June 2025 I sold my first $20,000 in one design. From there the business continued to grow, my personal life still felt empty, I was still living with so much unresolved wounds from the world. But I did it? I'm making all this money?  But I'm STILL broken. It was in that season I opened my bible for the first time. "okay God, I'm here" August 26th, 2025 I made my first journal,